She gave me her phone number about a week or so ago.  It almost seemed like she had been waiting for an excuse to give it to me.  we were chit-chatting up front and I happened to show her a text message that Stephani had sent me earlier in the day.  She (not stephani) got a real kick out of it and said I had to forward it to her, and gave me her number.

 

Well a couple of days later, we were chatting again, and I made the comment that we should hang out some time outside of the store.  She said something to the effect "Well, you have my number"

 

Since then, we have talked on the phone every day, some days as long as an hour and half.  Today, she was off work from the store, and did not have the boys, and I am not sure if she suggested it or I did, but either way, we finally had what I guess you would have to call our "first date".  I met her at her apartment, and we went and had a pleasent dinner, and talked.  It was so nice not to be watching the clock (30 minute lunch breaks while at work), and not to have the office girls in their little "ivory tower" shooting glances in our direction like we should not be talking to each other.  It was just so relaxing.

 

After dinner, we rode oiver the the store so that she could show off the new car that she got today - her old car that she had only had for a few monthes was beginning to develop a lot of issues, and she convinced her parents that the new car would be a better investment than fixing the old one.  The store manager has know her for several years, and almost treasts her like a little sister, so you can imagine the look on his face when he saw the two of us hanging out together this evening.  He has all but encouraged me to date this young lady, even going so far as to say that he wanted his family invited to "the wedding".  But it was funbeing a little scandalous for a little while.

 

We went back to her apartment where I told her "good night", and we parted ways.  And while I would have loved to give her a hug, I did not want to appear to be too agressive and scare her away.  I feel like we have a good friendship building and the there is good potential for a long term relationship, and I don't want to blow it.

 

hopefully thre will be more to the sage soon, until then......

amazing hours 24 hours will adjust ones outlook on things with the right external motivators.  i was off work today, and as usual, my only plans were to wash clothes and watch tv all day.  last night, i got a text message from a "friend" at work, apologizing for not returning my call yesterday afternoon. and promising to call today.  needless to say, i was not optimistic - she has her children today, and with her hands full with three boys, i was not expecting to hear from her.  lets just say, three different calls and an hour and half later, i have a lot better outlook on life. 

 

more later, maybe  

i apologize in advance....i just started typing, and before i knew it this became almost a rant.

 

 

yes, I am alive.  kinda dropped off the face of the "Blog" earth for a while, but i am back...mostly because i need to vent a little bit, and since i have lost touch with a lot of the people that i used to hang out with - thanks for moving half way across the country, you bastards!  j/k - i figured, i might as well use this medium.

 

where do i begin?  dropped mother off at the airpoprt this morning so that she could head up to michigan.  my grandmother is in the hospital right now, but according to stephani, they are talking about letting her go home in a couple of days maybe.  i really would love to get up there to visit, since it has been like four years since i was up to the frigid nawth, but i am not even sure if i have any vacation time available to go.

 

i am tired of working my butt off, looking forward to having and evening off or a day off, and NOTHING to do, no plans, no one to hang out with.  I joked a few years ago that I got a fortune cookie with the fortune "You badly need a new circle of friends".  could not ring any truer right lately.  i am tired of being single.  i tired of being a chicken-shit introvert.  all i was in life is someone to come home to and reassure me that "yes, i am killing myself, but 1) that will bnot always be the case, and 2) there is a light at the end of the tunnel and someday i will actually have a life.

 

i am tired of coming home in after work, having several hundred numbers in my cell phonebook, and not having a single person that i could call up and say "hey, lets go get a beer".  i am tired of being tired all the time.  i am tired of feeling like i am the only one who is willing to bust his butt to get the job done at work.  i am frankly tired of the grocery business, but i have basically no motivation to get out of the job that i am in.  i am tired of the feeling that there are things in my life that i have not accomplished yet (wife, kids, etc) and that at this point i almost feel like i may never accomplish.  i am tired of being held to one standard and not being able to hold others to the same standard.  i am tired of wanting to be an asshole once in a while, but repressing the urge because i know it will do no good.  i am tired of people who want everything in the world handed to them, but are not willing to leave the world the way they found it for the next guy.

 

i am tired of not understanding people in general.  i am tired of not understanding women.  i am tired of being alone.  i am tired of driting through life with nothing but church and washing clothes to break up the monotany.  i sometimes feel like noone up there is listening.  i am tired of feeling like there is no one to listen. 

 

i need a hug..........